Ever fancied someone so much, just hearing the persons name gives you that stupid smile on your face, and the warming feeling of butterflies in your stomach? I have, and very recently too.
Let’s call the dude ”Simon”, Simon could be considered a member of the family, well we both look at each other in the way of family, while the explanation behind this is something quite simple. My step-father’s brother (My Step-Uncle), married a woman who already had a child from a previous relationship which makes ”Simon” my Step-Uncle’s Step-son! Wow!!! Got that?
So we’ve known each other from little, grown up together and I always had a crush on him. Little things I remember such as asking my dad if we could see ”Simon” and even seeing him in the gym gave me butterflies. Not seeing ”Simon” for a few years, concentrating on school work and currently uni work meant pushing the idea of ”Simon” and his perfect hair, eyes and smile to the back of my mind. So, a few months my parents and I received an invite to his wedding!!!
Gladly I turned down the church although feeling rather excited to see ”Simon” again, after all these years, seeing him at the reception… wow!!! Although begging myself to go talk to him I realised I was too late. He found the girl of his dreams, pledged his love to her forever. And he didn’t even know how I felt. A while later I found my eyes following him through the crowded marquee, sitting down next to me all I could do was smile to this gorgeous now married man. Swapping numbers for us to keep in touch I never thought it would get as bad as we’d find out!!!
Waiting 2 weeks for him to come back off his honey-moon didn’t take as long as I thought. And soon the text were flying with laughs, giggling and little redness being passed from one to the other. I remember the text as to the letter, still, ”I’m so glad I got your number, I was always jealous when our parents would meet up and see your and or your parents. I had a crush on you,when we were younger you know”…. Well I nearly collapsed on the floor! Me thinking, OMG!!! So did I, does he still? Before I got to asking he got there first!!
”Is your crush still there? Cause seeing you at the wedding, you looked gorgeous! Stunning even. And I have to say… My crush is defo back”
How the hell could I respond to that? I mean this was the little boy I’d known since I was a kid! Playing with his gerbil, making me feel welcome by getting me pop, crisps, and sweets (Nothing when your a kid!). He was the perfect man for me. Gorgeous brown eyes, blonde fluffy hair, perfect nose, irresistible lips, he was loving, caring, had a fantastic job (doctor) and my family liked him, because in a way he was family. He was MY ”Simon”, Not HERS! I’d known him longer, and I heard she was a total cow!
Anyway, having sent numerous text and messages, some flirty some normal, feelings started becoming more clear. I was totally and inevitably in love with him. Texting me until early hours of the morning and whenever I woke, a message would make me smile! ”Hey Tiger!” Thinking he was perfect I was screwed from the beginning. One day he asked me to go for a drink with him, feeling as excited as a kid at Christmas I got changed only to begin realising his wife was out with the girls and he was with the lads.
Slowly I started noticing that the only times he’s text me was when he wasn’t with his wife, or if he was in work. Where she couldn’t see. That hurt the most. He kept telling me how badly he wanted me, not for sex, but for hugs and eating ice-cream. Boy was I played!!! I thought for weeks and weeks about what it would take for me to be the other woman. Hey, I was already hooked, texting him and eagerly waiting for his reply. Every time my phone buzzed, my heart would skip a beat thinking it was him. Most of the time it wasn’t. The man had me dangling on a string!! And I hated it!! I listened to Emeli Sande alot through these months…. ”From a distance my choice is simple, From a distance I can entertain, So you can see me I put make-up on my face, But there’s no way you can feel it” What the hell was I playing at?? It needed to end one way or another! Just how, that was the real question!